This morning My baby Zeke decided to wake @ 6am. And even though I went to bed @ a decent time last night, it's still 6am. First thoughts are no Zeke it's too early, definitely for a Tues. Tues we have co-op (school) we have to be out of the house by 8am sharp. So more thoughts fill my head. If he's up early (before 7am) that throws my morning out of wack. He's gonna be cranky during class and so on. So I drag myself downstairs. Pick him up, stand there for a min swaying as he cries. As soon as I lay him down, screams begin again. Oh Zeke what are you doing. Finally I pick him up, go over to the rocker & just rock w/ him. Within seconds he was relaxed in my arms. I look down @ him in his almost pitch black room w/ just a hint of light coming in from the cracked door. I see his little blue/grey eyes looking up @ me. I think to myself WOW God you are amazing. My boy is growing so fast. And as weird as it sounds, I really miss waking in the middle of the night & nursing him. I miss cradling him in my arms & just being @ peace w/ his beauty. As he is my 3rd child I see he can get passed over quickly. He doesn't get much alone time w/ me (as do the girls). So I sat there for the next 20 min (I would guess) looking @ him. Watching his little eye blink slower & sloooower as he falls back to sleep. I know these are times he won't remember, but they are beautiful blessing I will remember. I think it's so hard sometimes to be happy to wake in the middle of the night or to be thrown off schedule, but I really do think sometimes we just need to stop, & realize it's not going to kill us to loose a little sleep. And it's definitely worth it, to be able to take a picture in my memory of his sweet baby face. His little eyes looking so helpless & tired & all he really needs & wants is his Mommy. I love that I'm the person he wants. I never try to wake Anthony in these tired moments. I know God has built me to be the one who looses sleep & find the compassion in the middle of the night for him. Do not get me wrong my hubby would get up w/ any of our children. And there's nothing wrong w/ asking for help. I just know how hard my hubby works during the day. Plus I like when I can find the beauty & comfort in the the storm. I love feeling God's hand telling me to enjoy these days, cause I KNOW he will grow fast. These are my alone quiet times w/ him & they will end sooner then later, so WHY NOT TRY to ENJOY them.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. psalm 127:3
You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deu. 11:118-19
I know these don't have to do w/ staying up, waking in the middle of the night or anything. But love your children in ALL ways.
