Well I'm in the middle of many emotions & seasons of life. I feel like there are many great things in our future about to happen, but I'm sitting here stuck, not able to move.
I am 30wks pregnant (if you didn't know already) & yesterday I cleaned out the girls drawers wanting to get ready for the Spring. I went through the clothes & packed up all the ones that may not fit them through Spring. I do realize we are still in Winter & it's still cold out, but as much as I love the snow I'm longing for the Spring. The Spring means baby E is coming soon(er), walks to the park w/ my children, play dates, etc.
Next our house. We have been graciously given a house to rent w/ plenty of room & space for our family. I think about moving into the house & what a blessing it is. God always shows us His power & love in so many ways. I always feel as though He doesn't ever leave or forsake us. Not because of the gifts/blessings He randomly surprises us w/ (like a house) but in His timing & HOW He always does it. He is good & I am blessed. W/ all that said I AM anxiously wanting to move, decorate & start the next chapter in a new home. We were first told move in is April 1st but as most know things change. So we are still looking @ April but not quite sure when. Really just hoping to move & get settled before the baby comes. I think it all really comes down to, just wanting to start nesting & getting ready for baby E to come & get the girls their own rooms & space. There is much excitement w/ moving: the girls will have their own rooms (1st time since we moved to Ma.), play room, Anthony's office, shopping for stuff to fill in our place, etc. And I want to pack everything up or at least start packing, but we don't a) have room to put packed boxes b) really have anything we can pack, cause we use almost everything we have. I just feel like packing will make the moving process more real & hopefully come faster.
Third is baby E. I am happy to be having another baby w/ my love & excited about our family growing. I honestly can't wait to see a) what gender we are having b) what he or she will look like c) if the the baby will look like either of his sisters and so on. But once again I'm stuck. I have been blessed to be given hand-me-down baby stuff (swing, bed, etc.....more of God's blessings) & this just adds to my wanting to nest. Although I have to wait til the baby comes & my shower to actually be able to pick out clothes & things I have picked out the baby's room colors & decor. Which leads me to wanting to go register for baby stuff & plan my shower & get everything planned & ready, but I still have over 10wks til my shower, since we are doing a post baby shower. sooooo I'm here waiting for the next step so I can do something. I feel as though I'm in a rut also. To add to these emotions I am aslo very done w/ being pregnant already, tired of the comments (I know I'm big & yes I only have one baby), & the aches that the weight is bringing to my body. Don't get me wrong I am overly happy to be adding to our family & blessing that each child brings but as I said before I'm just ready for the next. As for right now I know I must be patient & look forward to the things that are to come. It's hard for me to just sit & wait. So Lord please help me to be patient for there are good things to come (I know), I know they will come & be over quickly. Help me to find rest in you & your will.
A piece of my heart written out. Thanks for taking the time to read.
